Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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