we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
