my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
