i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so much tequila, so little girl.