Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
