So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My ass is underappreciated
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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