Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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