So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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