Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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