2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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