ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize