actually, I'm a sock model
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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