Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
