Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
