my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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