Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
