dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
