i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize