WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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