i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
