it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
