I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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