My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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