I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
