she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
