Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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