Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
