I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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