He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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