I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
