was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
