How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish my penis had a tongue
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
