Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
