Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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