His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
