and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize