We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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