I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
