I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
