Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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