nut hugger
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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