no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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