wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
