Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
