areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
a search helicopter?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
