Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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