You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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