I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Randomize
