i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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