i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
