so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
