I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
