We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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